


Hard Habit to Break

by ridgeline



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Dubious Morality, Fucked Up Relationship, Hate Sex, Hell Loops (Lucifer TV), M/M, Slice of Gore, in hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 06:34:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19941781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ridgeline/pseuds/ridgeline
Summary: Now that Pierce is dead, knows exactly what he was so afraid of at his deathbed. Outside the cage built by his mark, there is a prison that’s even harder to break.





	Hard Habit to Break

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Hard Habit to Break](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19312489) by [ridgeline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ridgeline/pseuds/ridgeline). 



> I'm grateful with my beta 1 and beta 69. Thanks, 皮老师 and mimics. Without you, there's no way I can finish this. Why I'm doing this to you? I have no idea. But thanks you, you all are truly life saver.

_To the strand a picnic plan for you and me_

_A rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree_

After spending some time in hell, Pierce eventually gets used to calculating time with his biological clock. Because although there's no actually day or night around here, a new round of torture still begins at every _morning_. When it’s about 6 a.m, Pierce would naturally get up, starts a new day. He does what he always does, says what he always says, pretends that he is not aware that he is stuck in hell. 

Pierce just feels numb and indifferent. 

Most of the loops happened in the prehistoric times. Those ones were incredibly long and dreadfully boring. Always set in the middle of desert, surrounded by sand and sheep, and always ended up with Abel hitting the ground. Other than that, there are loops that happened during the Great Flood era - yes, the most annoying era. All Pierce did was kept reviving from death, then drown again. Revive. Drown. Revive. Drown. He can only held on to a burning hatred for eternal life to last. Some other loops occurred during World War I (typhoid, diarrhea, uncontrollable hunger; cannonballs with an extremely close impact point), some loops occurred during World War II (gas, mortar, air raid, air raid, more air raids).

The only loops that Pierce ever truly prefers were usually occurred in the 1920s or 1970s, because he knew exactly what would happen during gang wars at least. Before someone finally rushed into the nightclub with a submachine gun, Pierce could have a few weeks of comfortable life, eat well and sleep well. All Pierce had to do was to make effects to look like he had a serious stomach ulcer for under a lot of business stress.

Other than that, of all the loops, the modern ones are the best. They are not always perfect, but Pierce is fund of aspirin, microwave food and flush toilet.

It is a pity that they rarely appeared, and didn’t last long.

After all, during the entire twentieth century, except for the 1990s, Pierce rarely encountered these situations where the demons felt that he need to make his choice based on conscience. So, in general Pierce was pretty good at adapting to hell. After all, none of _this_ was his fault.

But there is only one thing that Pierce do found difficult to adapt. 

The thing is: Lucifer had come back to hell. And he started to visit Pierce's private prison cell from time to time.

It’s really hard to say no. Since he didn’t bother to ask Pierce at all.

Usually, these visits happened in the loops with modern backgrounds. Lucifer always appeared in silence. Sometimes he showed up in the morning, sometimes late at night, so there’s no certain regular patterns. Whether Pierce lived in a motel or a single apartment, the lock on the door was meaningless to Lucifer, he would simply step in, like he was the true owner. 

It was as annoying as it sounds.

When Pierce got off from work and came home, he would find Lucifer nest in his living room. He likes to raid Pierce's fridge and order takeout. Lucifer prefers to huddleing in Pierce's sofa and binge watch reality shows, with a large bottle of whisky in his hand. Yes, most of the time Lucifer was harmless, just wasted and awfully quiet. 

Dramatic as always. Make sure everybody is aware that _the prince_ was upset.

In general, Pierce's coping method with this was ignore Lucifer and continued to deal with his regular stuff. The main reason is Lucifer knew the whole loop thing was a joke to Pierce, so why bother? What else could he do? Before two hundred loops ago, they had already tried to dismember Pierce, throw him into an acid pool, tie him on a hacksaw machine, etc. Not a single thing had worked so far.

Heck, they had already tried those things when Pierce was still alive.

Like that, Pierce continues to serve his sentence as a model prisoner. Lucifer sneaks in, pretending that he is still living on earth.

Somehow this ridiculous sitcom actually worked. As long as Lucifer stays closer to Pierce, the loops will not collapse. Of course, it is impossible for Lucifer to have late night ( _and day_ ) fun now. But perhaps he decides that the true crime series and the double cheese sausage can also make do.

It’s kind of weird to talk about standards of living in hell, Pierce did realized it.

Most of the time, they acting like a pair of prisoners who shared a cell, like they are in a cold war, but can't afford to offend the gangs behind them. So, they pretended each other don’t exist with mild manners, ignore wet towel on the doorknob and kept their toothbrushs away.

The real question is, why Lucifer came back?

Something must have happened on earth. A very successful exorcist? The Third World War? Or maybe thy kingdom had come, and all human beings have a firm belief in glory overnight. Maybe Chloe was K.I.A on job, but didn't fall into hell. 

No matter what it is, Pierce isn’t interested. He had already lost most of his curiosity after sixty loops. Hard lessons, but he was a quick learner.

So, Pierce wasn't really surprised about the sex. 

They had some mindless booty call on earth before. During, and after the whole fake marriage thing. Maybe three or five times, no big deal. Pierce was pretty sure that Lucifer had hired call girls to his apartment in the loops. Or call boys, depends on his mood. 

It's certain that Lucifer had slept Pierce's neighbor back when Pierce was still living in Chicago. And Perhaps most of the people that lived in the building that Pierce rent in Bogota at 90s. Of course, those people were all just replicas that made from Pierce's memories, but Lucifer doesn’t seem to care.

This list probably includes some officers and detectives in several precincts that Pierce had worked. 

Most of those officers doesn't look like Chloe. Not at all.

So, when Lucifer appeared at Pierce's bedroom door at midnight, Pierce wasn't surprised. 

He was surprised in the next half dozen times. _You get used to it. you can get used to almost anything when it’s come to sex, right?_

After a while, Pierce stopped counting.

There's one thing about hell that was convincing - everything is simply a loop. And the demons are usually very succinct. Who knows? Maybe they also have private lives. It's easier to let the program run automatically. After Pierce had been travel in desert for sixty times, struggling in the floods fifty times, trekking in the three inch deep mud on the Volga River twenty times. He lives in Chicago two times, and move to Los Angeles six times.

_Now you see the pattern._

Charlotte Richards is not that special, even there was an angel personally escorting her soul to heaven. The real terrible part of the transfer to Los Angeles is that every time when the loops began, Pierce stands in O'Hare Airport, staring at the time on the digital board for the next flight to Los Angeles in anger. He wants to turn around and run, run to somewhere far away. 

But he can’t.

Charlotte Richards's death is not the beginning of his sentence, not at all.

The beginning of hell is when Pierce was screaming hysterically inside his head, but unable to control himself and gave his ticket to the ticket collector, with a polite smile.

The ticket collector always salutes him to have a nice trip.

Every time Pierce was in the trip of the last few months of his life in Los Angeles, Lucifer would appear at the door of Pierce's apartment. But he would never follow Pierce to work. And in the station, there was a more lively, happier and blinder version of Lucifer awaited. He would sit on Chloe's desk and stared at _detective'_ s every tiniest expression and movement _,_ with a hunger that can never be filled.

Pierce stayed in his office, looking through the blinds. He watched Lucifer smiling in the hall, rambling on and on. Pierce thought about the other Lucifer who was stuck in his apartment and binge watch tv. It was easy to distinguish them.

But he found he was no longer sure which one is the real one.

After about six loops in Los Angeles, Lucifer would sneak into Pierce's bed at late night. Sex itself was not bad. Sometimes Lucifer would give up the initiative, but apparently found it boring. Because Pierce had no desire for him, not particularly. He realized he couldn't really hurt Lucifer a long time ago _You couldn't make Mississippi River frozen, or destroy stars._ And Pierce wasn't insane, unlike Lucifer. He wasn't interested in doing things in repeat and hoping to get different results.

But when he was lying on the bed, and Lucifer was riding on his chest, choking his neck with both giant hands. Sometimes Lucifer would let go, and sometimes he wouldn’t. Pierce would accept both results.

He kind of likes it.

Because no matter what the outcome is, Lucifer will stare at him. With a tired and blank expression. As if Pierce is the only thing that left in his hands now.

Things like this, it’s a can that full of warms. The best thing you can do is to bury it.

The worst loop was -

The worst loop wasn't coming to Los Angeles.

It rarely happens, but when it comes, it was hard to be mistaken.

Pierce will always remember the scene: a dilapidated residential building in the Central South District. The second floor is filled with the smell of rat urine, and the hall is full of scattered Greek sculptures and unnamed forgery oil paintings. Pretty soon, the floor would be covered with blood and feathers. Lucifer would scream for five minutes straight for under the five submachine guns strafing. He took every bullet, hot metal dig through his flesh. The bones on his back would expose from the crimson broken feathers. 

But Chloe would be safe, and ignorant. 

Then Lucifer will carry her to some place far away, then come back. He would pass through the window like a revenge angel from ancient paintings, and kill Pierce.

Demons were wrong. Pierce taunted in the pool of his own blood, but that didn’t mean he wasn't scared.

Now that Pierce is dead, knows exactly what he was so afraid of at his deathbed. Outside the cage built by his mark, there is a prison that’s even harder to break.

He was his own prison, and he can't out run himself. 

In the end, hell works. But just not in the way of Pierce - or anyone else would have expected. Hell was an eternal loneliness, and nothing will ever change now on.

It was an amber, holds everything inside.

_No one will hear when you were screaming in your own hell._

There's one time after the end of the Los Angeles loop, Pierce had returned to Chicago for the next loop. He was working on a major case at that time, it’s one of those messing and haunted ones in his police career. He gathered detectives and had a brief meeting. They spent six hours analyzing the clues of a serial murder, and decided it's time to let the FBI get involved. Then Pierce left office and rush home, knowing exactly how drunk he needs to be before they find the new crime scene at tomorrow. 

Later at that night Lucifer came. He was pretty calm, but two hours after, he was as wasted as Pierce. So naturally they moved to Pierce’s bedroom and fuck blind, with furious and self-pity. Afterward, they were too exhausted to move, just continued to lie on the wet spot and ignore each other. 

Pierce was sweaty and sleepy, still feeling a sharp pain inside of his chest. Just phantom pain for the stab wound Lucifer left on him. Sometimes it will last for a while, but eventually it will fade. 

“Did I kill you again yesterday?” After a while, Lucifer murmured.

"Yes," Pierce replied, closing his eyes.

"Good," Lucifer nodded slightly, turning his face to the other side, "Because you deserved it."

"After you killed me," Pierce continued, "You told me, I will fall to hell."

He waited for a full heartbeat, then finally finished his sentence.

"For eternal life," Pierce whispered, "Without escape."

A cruel chuckle started beside him, echoed in the dark bedroom. But Pierce didn't care.

_Then I said,_ he thought, without emotion.

_So do you._

FIN


End file.
